Don't Write Off The Rule Breakers

When I was in high school the pastor of our church wouldn't let his son hang out with me. He said I was a bad influence. 

Sure there was that one time we had gotten in some trouble with the law. Sure there may have been a high speed chase involved resulting in multiple police officers showing up at his front door in the middle of the night. It's not like he actually went to jail!

Alright, fine. In retrospect, they probably made the right call.

The truth is I've never particularly liked rules. It didn't always get me into legal trouble, but it did make for a pretty colorful childhood. I've always enjoyed exploring new territory, takings risks and going against the flow. There was always this little part of me at any given moment that wanted to color outside the lines and make my own way.

As one can probably imagine, kids like me don’t always find church to be a very welcoming place. Good boys and girls, we are told, fall neatly into line. They don’t ask too many questions and they certainly don’t make waves. 

I'm afraid many churches place a premium on conformity, effectively alienating the misfits among us. Apostolic and prophetic types often fall into this category. "Why won't they just sit down and be quiet? Why do they have to be so...defiant?" 

Here’s the rub:

Almost all entrepreneurial types have a streak of defiance in them. 

In his book Originals: How Non-Conformists Move The World, Adam Grant writes this:

"Across [three scientific] studies, the people who became successful entrepreneurs were more likely to have teenage histories of defying their parents, staying out past their curfews, skipping school, shoplifting, gambling, drinking alcohol, and smoking marijuana."

This shouldn't really surprise us. Think about it. These are people who rebel against the status quo. They are not content with what is already out there. They don't like the solutions they are offered or the rules they are expected to play by. Within them is a desire to find or make a way that does not yet exist.

There's an intrinsic rebelliousness to their person. Don't believe me? Go ahead and google "rebellious entrepreneur." I'll wait. The words are almost synonymous. The link between the two continue to be corroborated by study after study and story after story.

As teenagers this can come out in immature, unhelpful or mildly destructive ways. This angst, however, can actually be an indicator of something greater going on. 

We dare not dismiss them. This is part of what makes them who they are. 

And when that energy gets channeled in the right direction, they are often the ones that have a disproportionate impact on the world around us.

Steve Jobs. Richard Branson. Sophia Amoruso. Travis Kalanick. Banksy. Elon Musk…

The list goes on and on.

As a common pastor, I certainly don't pretend to be one of these influential culture shapers. We just happen to share some common characteristics, namely an affinity for breaking the rules and a joy in creating things that don't yet exist.

If anything, the growing amount of gray in my beard serves as a constant reminder that my life is temporary, as is the time I have left to identify and raise up the next generation of kingdom influencers. I don't want to miss any of the "unlikely" future leaders in our midst that Jesus longs to affirm, raise up and send out.

In a time when many of the old ways of traditional church in the West are found less and less effective to reaching emerging generations, perhaps we could use some more rule breakers to help us imagine a new way forward. Perhaps some righteous rebellion is precisely what the church needs right now.

For those wondering where to start, here are a few suggestions for how to begin effectively engaging the next generation of rule breakers:

1. Create a safe place for dissenting voices to be heard.

Churches are notoriously bad at this. To be fair, so are unhealthy businesses and teams. Cultures where bullies rule, conflict is avoided and agreement is expected are toxic. They kill creativity. They alienate prophetic types. And they repel young leaders. One of the most important things you can do to change this is to create opportunities for dissenting voices to speak up. Ask for their opinions and mean it. Tell them repeatedly “It’s okay if we don’t agree. I want to hear your thoughts.” Rather than asking for criticism, invite them to share their ideas about how we might do things more effectively or differently. 

2. Recognize they probably won't be reached through programs or ministries aimed at serving the masses.

The naturally noncompliant aren’t likely to feel at home in contexts that are largely passive or observant in nature. This means that most traditional weekend worship services and assimilation process probably won’t be very effective at reaching them. Don’t be discouraged by this. Just because they may not easily fit into what already exists does not necessarily mean they don’t respect you or care about Jesus’ church. They may simply be struggling to find where they fit in the body and have few examples to show them a different way. So rather than waiting for them to come to you, personally pursue them. Rather than hoping to engage them with a general announcement give them a specific invitation.

3. Give them permission to create outside the box.

It’s probably not surprising that young rule breaking creatives are generally much more interested in working with new ideas than improving on old ones. If you’re willing to let go of some control, you’ll find this is to your advantage. As they grow and mature and find their legs on the way of Jesus, give them permission to run. Use the opportunity to speak to their unique identity and calling. Help them understand that the way they are wired isn’t a liability. It’s part of their gift. Now help them learn how to steward it.

4. Don't tell them how to do it. 

As you give them responsibility resist the urge to tell them how to do it. Instead, present the problem that you're trying to solve, the place you're trying to go or the vision you're trying to see realized. Then let them be a part of figuring out how to get there. This will tap into their intrinsic motivation to find new ways and create. By all means, give them Christ-centered principles by which to operate. But know that paint-by-number won't do. You'll likely find their capacity to find creative solutions is often one of their greatest gifts.  

5. Give them permission to fail. 

As they begin to create and lead give them permission to fail. This one isn’t just limited to rule breaking types but I would suggest to anyone and everyone you’ve been entrusted to lead. Work as hard as you must to create a culture that recognizes that the "fruit" of our work and ministry isn't really in our hands. That is God's department. Our job is simply to be faithful. So we try; we fail; we learn from it; and then we get to go try again. This is where all real innovation begins. If you can cultivate a culture that not only gives permission to fail but celebrates the very act of trying in faith, even if only to fail, you will be light years ahead of most communities of faith.

6. Disciple them as they go.

Lastly, know that the most effective way to disciple rule breaking, entrepreneurial types probably won’t be done in the context of a classroom, or by going through a rigid curriculum or by sitting in a circle of chairs talking. It will likely involve discipling them along the way.

As they create. As they lead. As they try. As they fail. As they go.

This is precisely what a pastor and mentor did for me as a defiant, rebellious, rule breaking teenager. I was invited to create alongside him. I was allowed to push back and disagree. I was given responsibility. I was invited to help lead and dream about the future. I was given room to run and permission to fail. (And fail I did. A lot.)

But this particular pastor discipled me through it all.

What would follow is my spending the next twenty years (and counting) in vocational ministry, most of it in church planting. That never happens without someone taking this defiant punk under his wing for a season. What a gift.

Of course, defiance is not a positive attribute in and of itself. Can defiance as a character quality go sideways? Of course it can.

But it can also be redeemed and deployed. 

So don’t write off the rule breakers in your midst.

God just might be looking for a few more.